dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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