Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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