If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
