Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
