i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
