I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
