I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
