Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
