Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
