I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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