I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
