He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have aggressive nipples.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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