just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
