That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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