I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
