I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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