Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
