Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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