i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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