Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he's gonorrhea incarnate
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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