We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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