did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
