The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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