I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
