So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
