i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize