I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
