...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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