Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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