Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize