Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it was like eating out sand paper
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
