Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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