Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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