it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
