I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
