Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
