You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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