even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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