At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
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