I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize