If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
