I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
