Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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