I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize