Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
