What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
