I looked at my own cervix.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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