Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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