New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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