I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
