Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize