i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
