just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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