Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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