low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
