So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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