I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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