i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
