Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
operation harelip BJ is a go
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
