May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have feelings that need drinking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
