Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
