he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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