my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
